i'm running out of bukowski novels to read! damn it...

still pretty fucking bummed out. can everyone stop with the fucking line of thinking that just because i'm a funny/upbeat person that I can't have a really nasty case of anxiety or depression? Prior to leaving for out west i was having bad attacks of not being able to calm down or sit still. pacing around and shaking over small tasks or just shit I do every day... beyond jitters and being inconsolable. When i tried to explain that concept i was told that it was nothing and I was being silly. now today i reveal to a friend that i'm feeling low and it's hard to get out of the house and he said that i was pretty much bullshitting. feh.
maybe it's too much bukowski? doubtful, i really cant get enough.