Thursday, January 31, 2008

Josie and her current girlfriend were a wonderful combination of careless idiocy and planned sanity. Anne even gave me a boner regardless that I became enraged every time she fussed over the tiniest splotch of water left on a flat surfance. She was pretty much what I needed in a partner. Someone to look after my useless ass... I'm keen on someone to pamper me, but in the end get too fussy to tolerate it forever. Never happy right?
Anne buzzed by me rapidly to go clean something up. I barely had time to raise my legs for her to zip by and slopped wine on my shirt as it splashed up.
"Anne... fuck... can you SIT?"
She was long gone and clattering around in the kitchen. There's just some people who can't stay still. These are the people who make up for me who could easily rot for 3 hours before thinking about making a move.
Joise, oblivious, picked at her teeth as she stared at her reflection in the window. I unzipped my pants and hauled out my dick to shake until she noticed and became flustered.
"Stop preening, get into the kitchen and go help Anne."
She looked awfully put out by this idea and went back to picking. I'm too stressed out by conflict to not intervene so I sluggishly stood up. Good thing I remembered to stuff my cock back into my pants since I don't think Anne needed to see that shit. She was multi tasking a cigarette and dishes in between hard snaps of chewing on non-existant nails.
If I looked too keen she would kick me out of the kitchen. If I looked indifferent she would kick me out of the kitchen before I could get more wine. I put on a half smile and asked if she needed a refill. That was the winner. A soft smile and we launched into chatting about our respective BlackBerry phones as she cleaned plates in scalding hot water deftly. I leaned back to see Josie staring at her reflection again.
"Is she looking in the window?"
"You know it."
"JOSIE! STOP IT!"
"FUCK THE BOTH OF YOU!!"
We shook our heads and I doused Annes glass in more wine to finish off the bottle. Before I could think of something to strike up a conversation she had handed me a dish towel to dry off a neat stack of plates and knives so she could scoot off to clean something else. It made me exhausted just seeing her bolt around while I took my sweet time to putter about and avoid making a mess.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

i got a binder

not a binder for school dummy... anyway, i tried to snap some pics and it really doesn't do justice to how nice the binder is. it's not going to make me look like a guy, but hey, it will help me look more like a fat 16 year old boy who's late to hit full-on puberty. that's something. right? fuck it.

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at this point i'm getting frustrated that none of the pics are turning out how i want them to!
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so, like, it's not totally flat, but like i said, portly teenager? kinda?
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giving up and gaining a sense of humour
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boys can wear lip gloss so shut up
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jerk-face cat

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"tweak! we do not have time for this fagocity!!" cartman

attic romping

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boid

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gay.

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boid.

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GAY!

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attic bamboozled

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what's upstairs at the mudhouse...

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at a moments notice, someone can walk into andrew's apartment and it's clean and ready to be photographed!

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ctv winter gala outfit

i *did* get a new top but i wound up wearing the other one i wore to my work christmas party. leave it to me to ALSO wear it to the makeup show last november and the gay guys who i worked for, who were also at the winter gala, remembered it. agh!
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Monday, January 28, 2008

fractal fiction - yeah i know i haven't updated in a while

sniffing and sighing I tried to catch my breath. The teeth-gritting cold wreaked havoc on my already fragile sinuses... prompting me to suck in wheezy breaths and exhale static noises of congestion and smokers cough. I rubbed at my nose with mittens i found on the streetcar and pulled my hand back thinking of the unimaginable things the mitts could have touched before I retained ownership of them. The wool caused tremours of irritation in my nose and sure enough i sneezed. Dry, brittle plate tectonics of old blood and congestion unhinged in my nostrils and i moaned at no one other than myself. I swore I'd kill myself if I did another winter in this province. You know, real winter with the snow flakes and ice that i tepidly walked on imagining my hip dislocating at every wrong step.... But here i am, bundled up in the cold and looking around at all the fucking majestic snow falling.
Germs be damned I ground a mitt into my nose to try and itch at it. Ahh... that feels better.
Now where's my cab?
I gave up on the bus system in the 20 minutes i had been back in town and instead called for a cab to come get me. My knapsack felt heavy and made me look like a student lost in a pocket up uptown businesses. I was irritated at how emotional i could get when i was cold and unfed. Guess I'm not waifish orphan material.
A fuzzy glow turned around the corner. Bliss, the cab was coming. Now hopefully it would reach me before some asshole jumped out to scam it.
I hopped into the cab and sighed happily as one last puff of cold air exhaled out of me. The cab had the cool stale smell of cigarette smoke and it made my fingers curl thinking about having one.
"Hey hey, you don't mind smell, no?"
"No it's okay by me. Have another one, I don't care."
"You smoke too?"
"You give me one?"
"Okay. Okay. You and me buddy, we smoke."
He chucked me back some cigarette that probably came from a reserve, but I wasn't picky.
We haggled briefly over the route for him to take me home and he settled back into the plush Grand Marquis driver seat. I like a silent cab ride, especially when it's the CBC on the radio. He turned it up to counteract the roar of his window being rolled down and I smiled at the new Hayden cd being played.
Smoke lolled out of my mouth and I began to warm up under the many layers of gear I had on. My eyes were puffy from holding in my feelings on the bus. No need to terrify your seat buddy by being the fat gay guy sobbing for a robust 60 minutes. That's just a courtesy.
The cigarette was incredibly strong and gave me a little head rush. Ah, that'll take my mind off things... As long as I don't faint when I try and stand up I'll be ok. i'll bank on my blood pressure being stable enough to keep me going, if only for the few feet to the front door.
"Where and When" played on the radio and I could bearly keep myself stitched together. I wiped my mouth and tried to open my eyes up wide... let the air in to dab the wet and make it evaporate faster. Gulp down the knot in my throat and push aside all my temper tantrum thoughts of I want, I need, I don't know why I can't have you... Keep it all packed up, locked up, out of sight so there's nothing to worry about. Throw it on the floor when I get home with my knap sack and never think about it again until I hit the road to see you again.