fiction

There's that point in an obsession where it all unravels.
It's easy to see when you're observing someone else going through it... Easy to mock, easy to laugh at... Just a cinch to roll your eyes at someone oblivious to the sheer idiocy of pandering after someone/something that's out of reach.
All these subjective perceptions are wonderful when you're outside the whirl of irrational thought patterns.
The lofty roost of "well *I* could have told you this would end poorly..." (Whispered breath in before a sip of wine) "Ya dummy." The impervious fortress of backhanded observations that are freely distributed to idiot friends never applies to ones own personal dim decisions. What a mouthful. [Just go back and read it slowly, try to digest it. I'm sick of dumbing down my thoughts for meager mulit-tasking brains]

I packed up some magazines to mail to my still-born obsession. He had long since moved on from our awkward conversation where I unhinged logic from the forefront and went right for impulsive behavior... The part in our relationship, no, sorry, back off wishful thinking. The part in our FRIENDSHIP that involved me running my mouth off about how much I loved him. That shameful confession where you barf up every single thesis statement on why you love someone even though they don't want your needy touch. The moment where I never want to wind up, but it's too late. Ah the horrifying realization that I can't cry over childhood abuse, sexual traumas and other sundry items that poison my body, but oh yes I can cry about my poorly-selected crush.

god i'm too bitter to deal with this right now...