Sunday, October 11, 2009

monster want

i was always a cartoon/comic/magazine junkie. when i was younger, i had a big thing for Mad magazine and when i was waiting around for the next issue, i often picked up Cracked magazine. i never felt like Cracked was a special needs kid that you felt sorry for, i really did like the cartoons and was entertained.
so, i recall a new magazine nestled in near the Cracked one month WAY WAY WAY back when... it looked like art work that i would find in cracked but only creepy.

when i was a kid i didn't really get turned on by horror movies. even when i was that youthful, it just didn't scare me, just a story that entertained me. errrr i hadn't yet found the ones that DID scare me or the types of horror i like now. the problem was that since i was a budding little psychopath, it just didn't' *hit* me or shake me up. it didn't creep into my mind and stay with me in any way other than ah, that was interesting!.

i wound up picking a copy of this magazine up and what the FUCK!?! it creeped me out. it's only newsprint/black and white... and mostly short comic stories so nothing epic. what i do know is that these stories burned in my mind. i read them many times and would often stop to close my eyes and visually see them play out. even when i put them away for a couple of months, they'd manage to get yanked out and sat open on my bedroom floor for extended stays.

a couple of months ago i got a complete bug up my twat about this mag. i could see the covers/the stories, but for the life of me didn't know what the name was. i googled Cracked and Horror to no avail...or maybe i just didn't look hard enough? i pinned down the name of it after i begged friends on the intrawebz to help me out. sure enough, thar she blow:
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There's one missing from the image... which is one that i want along with the Jason cover the most. I was scratching my head wondering why i only bought a few of these... but after a little reading saw that only 5 issues came out. Mort Todd who was working at Cracked slipped this mag into the printing press without any approval. After one came out with critical praise he managed to churn out 4 more, but it went bust after he left Cracked.



the one story that is seared into my mind is from the Frankenstein cover that entices you to buy the magazine with the promise of reading about Deadly Slime... actual title of the story: "Cellar Jelly". while i reiterate over and over that little traumatized me in terms of fiction, THIS STORY SCARED THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT OF ME. i never looked at preserves the same way again. ever. EVER! the graphic panels of horror in it is still with me and the words "clack clack" are tangible in my mind now as i see a viscous-coated skeleton beat a death rattle on a cellar floor.

{shudder}

i really find it delightful to find things that creep me out past or present!

thank the gods there's only a few to pick up... i will save up my pennies to get these and take a ton of pictures of the frames.

anyone else out there remember this mag?!

thanks!

im thankful for: weed, wine, my precarious health, kittens, my unrequited crushes & as always my ability to cheapen life-affirmation statements

Friday, October 9, 2009

magic: the dorkening

2 posts in one night? must be visiting my folks for the weekend.

as seen by my last post, i have a burning hardon for comics. i was never into hobbits and sci fi fiction novels, but do enjoy cartoons, comics and movies that touch on the themes. i guess i gotta have my limits?

so there's a long history with me finding an interest in playing Magic: The Gathering. while i'm numeric dyslexic and the thought of adding or subtracting reverts me into a gap-mouthed toad, still, i thought this might be interesting. i've always liked the art work in the series, moreso in the past 5 years and even more once i was able to look at collections. maybe i could get into this? i like fanciful things that kill each other in savage pageantry! i like collecting things that are painful financial drains! i like games that require me to be sheep-dogged into chill spaces and only have a few people to hang out with!

my old half-roommate Daddy [names changed to protect the bears] came in from a weekend trip raving about playing Magic and spent a solid 20 minutes pitching the concept to me.
"but i hate numbers..."
"no! it's not that bad... and there's evil animal things... WITH SWORDS!!"
"SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!"
my only quid pro quo was a single dyke finger being raised and pointing at his handsome face, "oh i'll learn to play... but you can't out me to any of our friends that i'm going to play dragons and fairy farts with you or else i'll never play this with you. Capice?"
he agreed and we left it at we'll touch base and get this shit on the go eventually.
fast forward a month. Daddy and i were at some social event and we were picking on each other, as usual, and trying to outdo each other for the title of King Shit. He blurted out to a large pack of friends, "oh YEAH, well J wants to play MAGIC!!"
i was Magic outed.
i cant be clear, but i think the debacle unraveled into me screaming like a queeny wag trying to slap him and crying out, "you said you wouldn't tellllllllllll!!"

some hurts never heal and since that outburst, Daddy has faced me cornering him many times swishing wine around in a glass staring at him... and the inevitable, "remember when you blabbed about Magic...?!" all in good fun. kinda. no seriously, it's funny, but more hilarious to pout about it for attention.

still, what's the beef? i think about batman daily more than i do about kitties. that speaks volumes to gauge the dork ratio right there. i am a giant flake that enjoys being immersed into fanciful scenarios but it's super hard for me to find a board game that i will actively sit down and play. i'll watch all night as others play and have fun, just usually can't be focused enough to want to play it all night.

so, let's take stock: i like psychos in tights and capes, i like lapsing into a dream-like state of imagination and i like collecting things and yapping about it with other collectors.

i'm still not officially done with this Magic: The Gathering thesis, but i'll at least take it a couple of rounds.

laugh if you want, but rest assured there are like SO many other things i do/imbibe/think about are much worse than playing cards with dragons on them... so i guess, what's the hold up?

comix!!

a pal graciously picked me up a comic that he liked a while back. it's beat up but the pages are almost fuzzy with that worn texture of newsprint. and there's a ton of ads mashed in between the comic pages that are eyebrow-raising to say the least.
we chatted about how GOOD the story is but the cover is a little less to be desired/kinda hokey. i drew the comparison to porno movie boxes: sassy cover means NOTHING in terms of what's going to get you off. but the reverse could be true... in fact i recall a ton of pornos i would recommend at the smut shack that people walked past and i had to confirm that it was worth the rental.

back to the point: me takey pictures of comic book. it's so fragile that i'm keeping it in a cover so i thought i might as well snap some pics of it to look at without griping about hauling it out of plastic.

cheesy stuff, but i love it. should probably take each image and crop them a bit better, but MEH good enough, yo.

the cover in question... kinda boring but it belies a great story
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god i love beast... don't psychoanalyze this too much!!
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WAPAAAAOOOW!
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rowr
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zoom!
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old but still love the vibrant blues in this
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i want to print this on a tshirt!
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oh tony start, what hilarious antics are you up to now
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sloots 'n high cut bathingsuits. yus.
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THOR BITCH SLAP WAB-BAP!
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another one that would look sick on a tshirt
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I WILL DIE UNHAPPY NOT KNOWING WHAT THESE SHIRTS LOOKED LIKE
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...i think i missed it
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meep... they don't cost .50 anymore
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