this didn't really go anywhere

i fussed with a piece of sashimi. my chop sticks poked through the delicious layers of tuna meat but i couldn't bring myself to eat it.
Dan pecked at my hand with his sticks to get my attention.
"Yeah I know I'm poking at it. You don't like tuna anyway."
"People are going to think I broke up with you... sit up... you know, look... happy or more like you're getting dinner for free tonight."
"Right right." I straighted up in my chair and looked over his shoulder.
"You seemed like you were in an ok mood when i came to get you... was it something I said? Too many spider rolls and not enough Sapporo?"
I smiled a little and leaned back. What the fuck is my problem?
"Anything more on that boy?"
"No. Fuck... Dan, I told you, nothing's going to happen. I can't even bring myself to hang out now that he has a boyfriend. I just wait in terror that he's going to bring up some magical moment with me and I'm going to burst into tears. Last time I saw him he was going to make his man dinner and read pablo neruda to each other. I really thought I was going to collapse into his arms... What... why in the hell would i meet someone like this?"
"It's not working right now, maybe in the future..."
I pitched my chopsticks down and rubbed my eyes with my palms. "No Dan, there's not going to be a future... Don't you see the pattern of this conversation? You ask me how it's going, I get upset, you tell me to be hopeful and I tell you that you're existing in a dream world."
He looked hurt...