"a shimmy and a shake, ah-oh, we're on top..."

hovering on the edge of dozing off and just relaxing i moved backwards into Nick's back. i could have purred as he rolled over to clutch at me like a body pillow. Even with his massive leg humped over my thigh pressing it down i felt safe and deliciously peaceful.
i had promised anthony that I wouldn't make contact with Nick for a good long while to avoid the whole toxic ex boyfriend juju. I hit my breaking point of celibacy and texted him on a night that I had the house to myself for the evening. He came straight over after his shift and had a knapsack slung over his shoulder. I had thrown on a sweater and jeans... coat still in his car as he pushed into the back sun room, god forbid the neighbours see. his mouth tasted cold from working in winter air all night doing a drunk driving roadside check. We never had much to talk about but I was keen to get him dragged upstairs to do what I had suggested via my message earlier this evening.
in the end it was the usual toe-curling adventure but i was surprised to feel him curl around me in a moment of wanting to be close. must have been a bad night... his hand pawed at the side of my hip to pull me in closer and this time i really did purr a little. Oh this is nice... Couldn't you just come over a few times a week to do this? How fucking lonely am i that i had to call up my definitely wrong for me ex boyfriend to skewer me into having some emotions?
He huffed a little and sighed. "Can't. Fucking. Sleep. Every... jesus..." His grip tightened on me and my eyes snapped open. There goes the moment.
I rolled over and moved back a little to look at him. "No sleepy makes for psycho cop, you know that."
"Yeah I know Nate. Just, wound up and shit. This was fun though."
"What's wrong? Your mini-me boyfriend not as much fun?"
"I'll take stable and boring personality types any day to date... the fucking on the other hand is a sad and timid affair. He doesn't mind shit like this since it means I won't pester him for a fuck this week."
"Ah, my mind rests easy if my ass feels worn out."
"I never got your sense of humour..."
"I know Nick."
"How about that blondie fag I saw you with last month at the sushi bar?"
"How about him what?"
"Who is he?"
"Chill out Serpico... Just a guy. You know.... Nothing to worry about." I shot him a disgusted look. "I'm not his type."
Nick looked down and looked at me in the oh-so-trite candle light.
"The ONLY reason I bring it up is... that you looked miserable around him. You're smiling but you had that heavy-eyed look you get when you stop talking. Like now."
My eyes snapped back up to look at him. I was a little more than pissed that he could spot my sad little echo act in a crowded restaurant but he was incapable of making any real semblance of interesting conversation.
"so what? I'm not his type."
"Ya, you SAID that. Makes it sound like you wish you were his type."
"You can't force these sorts of things, Nick."
"what's the appeal? You tend to go for the more, er," I reached behind him to grab a slathering hunk of ass to grip. "Er, a man that's more substantial."
"Hey, a boy can have a spectrum of cock interests, can't he?"
"Don't tell me... he's a fucking literary genius."
"NO Nick, he's not."
"Painter?"
"No!"
"Dancer?!"
Laughing I pinched his butt hard and let go. "ACTOR! He's a fucking actor."
"Haw haw, I just knew he looked cute but unemployable." I wasn't expecting it to wound me so much to have Nick mock my lust for the coffee shop boy, still, after all this time. Nick leaned in to catch my mouth before I could protest and we made out a little bit. it was good to kiss until we left the conversation behind us a little.
Pause and a chance to wiggle in close for some quiet time against a warm body.
"You don't... like boys THAT much."
"Huh?"
"You heard me... You like fucking men but you have little patience for them for the most part. What the hell is up with this one?"
"He's someone who's fucked up but who actually wants to do something about it... not like trying to figure out the universe, just trying to build and get things right the next time... around... look at you, you're staring at me like I have two heads."
"These are words I never really thought could come out of your mouth. Change? A man who makes you want to better yourself? Someone you want to... You fill in the blanks."
Sheepishly... "makes me want to... keep... bettering myself."
"I'm stunned... You? You the one who said you'd rather run yourself through with a butcher knife than get married to a guy? You who resist everything in a relationship that's stable and loving? I... I don't get it. Must be..."
"Must be a special guy. No. No he's not. He's just a guy. He's just a guy I have a crush on and that's all."
He looked stunned at my cold tone. "ho-kay, if you don't want to talk about it shall we get another round in? I figure it's better than trying to communicate."
"Sounds good to me."