dear doctor p: thanks for blowing me off after spending $40 on cab rides to a fucking apointment

"This is hell isn't it?"
"Mmm?"
I yanked out anthony's earphone so he could get the full effect of braying children in the waiting room. A toddler lumbered past with arms up shaking them around frantically. In his wake he left a wafting stink of shitty diaper and crumbled animal crackers.
We shuddered in unison and returned to our BlackBerry and iPod respectively.
Captain Shitty Drawers made another pass in front of us but this time he turned to screech at us. Recoiling in horror I leaned back in my chair and rolled up my magazine. He trundled closer with orange stained hands that could only be slobber worked into cheeto powder. I shook my head in mute horror and shooed at him with my hand... The other clenching the magazine in case he got too close.
"Shoo... Shoo... Go on..."
Anthony curled closer to me and looked around for a owner to come gather the kid up. Kidlet stopped but I was still on the defence. He hollered in a pleghmy voice, "haaaaaaaa rowwwwwww!"
"Yes, yes that's nice. Hello." I leaned back into anthony who was clearly spooked."Don't people tell their kids to not talk to strangers?!"
"Haaaaaaaaa rowww! Ha-roaaaah!" Suddenly he tilted forward and came at us. We yelped and hopped up onto the chairs like the child hating sissies we are.
I swiped at the air infront of us shaking my head in a clear no pattern.
"What the hell..." A nurse came out and collected little lord shitty shorts and looked terribly disappointed. "You two, get off the chairs. I thought I told you to not book appointments at the same time."
"If we don't he's too chicken to come in and I can't be bothered to take the bus. Team work!" I lifted a hand for a high five but she left me hanging.
She deposited the brat beside his mother who was yapping on a cell. "Can you fill these? SEPARATELY?" Two piss sample bottles were chucked at us. Nothing like letting a waiting room full of people know you have to take a slash into a cup.
"Why is she so mean to us?"
"Probably still cheesed about you subbing in for my bloodwork last time." Angry stare.
"Oh well let's just bring that up again! I'm SORRY I did mushrooms before being your blood surrogate. How are you mad at me for you being scared of needles?"
"Did you have to come in high?!"
"Ohhhh pish. It's not like they're testing for it when they're checking you thyroid. I'm first for the bathroom. Ill wash my hands for sure."
"Hurry, I want out of here."