dun dun dunnnnn

this wasn't the best time to be crumpled up into sadness... this was, in fact, the worst timing as i needed to get my game face on for a presentation the next day. instead i was hot-faced from straining out a few tears and body shaking gasps. all physical pieces that leaked out when i tried to hold it all back. my aunt would smack the hell out of me for crying and i would hyperventalate trying to keep it in... it was easier to can the sadness than to explain why i was upset.

a fat path of water rolled down my face and i typed out forced messages that certainly were sincere, but made me scream inside. i winced every time i read a line about how i wasn't the man of the hour and would probably never be.

i pushed out my chair and honked a wet pile into a tissue. everything oozed when i had an ugly crying face on and i felt puffy and over heated. i put my head down and sniffed a little. messages blipped by and i turned my head up to watch them. it was a glazed mess so i felt at ease taking a break from it all...

there has to be something out there that can distract me from all this... right?