The woman I'm thinking of she loved me all up, but I'm so down today

when i was a teenager i would spend hours recovering from bing drinking slung over a chair with headphones on. i would scour through the stacks of records that my foster family had lovingly brought out from the attic for me to use. the lovely hiss and pop of black plastic running under the needle... me fussing with the ancient headphones and feeling a little relieved when the opening beats of "out on the weekend" started up. Neil Young's "Harvest" was always at the top of the recently-played pile, followed by Oscar Peterson's "Blues Etude" and the ever-present collection of Pink Floyd ready to be laid down carefully on the turn table.
what a happy thought... the idea of me feeling wrapped up in beautiful sounds and wondering why I got my ass kicked at school all the time for listening to this instead of whatever pop bullshit was all the hype. I had sincerely hoped I would get cooler into highschool but I was still a constant source of laughter with my Led Zepplin tshirts and a steadfast belief that Soundgarden would be around forever.
there i am... eyes closed and pulling myself deeper into the chair. i don't know why i put "harvest" on first thing saturday morning. always always always had to have it. My foster mom would set down a coffee beside me and tuck a to-do list underneath it. the understanding was that it had to be done by sunday night, but it was up to me to get started. she never pressed me to unplug from the record player as long as I took my mug downstairs to be rinsed out.
i would adjust the headphones when they got hot and sweaty.... Onto "Old Man". "24 and there's so much more...live alone in a paradise..." I never thought that I would live to 24 so the lyrics seemed distant and abstract.
sad pudge in a chair with nothing but classic rock and delicious jazz piano music to fill in the gaps. Way back when. Back when I smoked so much on the weekends that I would show up to school hoarse... when i drank until I smiled again and all that reflective bullshit you apply a glossy coat to so you don't feel like a total loser.
i don't think i ever dated any boy who liked Neil Young. That's criminal.

"Out On The Weekend"
Neil Young - 'Harvest'

Think I'll pack it in
and buy a pick-up
Take it down to L.A.
Find a place to call my own
and try to fix up.
Start a brand new day.

The woman I'm thinking of,
she loved me all up
But I'm so down today
She's so fine, she's in my mind.
I hear her callin'.

See the lonely boy,
out on the weekend
Trying to make it pay.
Can't relate to joy,
he tries to speak and
Can't begin to say.

She got pictures on the wall,
they make me look up
From her big brass bed.
Now I'm running down the road
trying to stay up
Somewhere in her head.

The woman I'm thinking of,
she loved me all up
But I'm so down today
She's so fine she's in my mind.
I hear her callin'.

See the lonely boy,
out on the weekend
Trying to make it pay.
Can't relate to joy,
he tries to speak and
Can't begin to say.