Friday, October 7, 2011

completely lost interest in writing this. oops!

it had been a long week. i had been working a heavy caseload of work projects and my boss having a very slow nervous breakdown. he had been winding up for about 3 months and we had finally progressed from "let's talk about this at lunch" to "if i don't pick up this phone call at 11:40am, you'll probably leave me a voice mail threatening to kill yourself." It was my fault inasmuch as i enjoyed taking on issues and looney tunes friends. my arrogance demanded that people lay out their issues in front of me and then hear my solutions... that's how i start. then i realize when it's far too late that i'm not a trained professional and the person i've been listening to needs about a handful of lithium and a vicious beating to get them sorted out.

work was work. i was thankful that even when it was a shitty day i was consistently invigorated and willing to push through the day. hell, i'll even come in on the weekends! i don't have a life. i'll work a saturday if i get to wander in on my own time wearing shorts that are disintegrating every minute they're on, great! better to get out of the house and do something productive instead of my usual shopping jaunts or the more slovenly afternoons where i lay around in bed naked & read comic books. sometimes it's good. just not all of the time.

work was work but not when work started calling me. my perky young boss had been promoted up the chain & i reported into the VP again. being that i was a lone wolf & no one else did what i did, there wasn't a lot of urgency to find me a master. i did my shit & didn't need supervision unless it was negotiating a yearly pay increase or tell someone i was booking vacation time.

with sugar tits twink boss gone out of my life i was back into the big bosses life. when i started out at the company he was a manager & we got along just great. moreso because he left me alone and i did a good job. the aforementioned ego i cart around everywhere always lets me down eventually. in an inadvertent lunch invite [i saw him as i was going out for a walk & panicked when he asked what i was doing] landed me into his life.

i'm flypaper for the mentally ill [who am i to judge? i'm straight up INSANE], the emotionally wounded [i just want you to feel better], and hypochondriacs. the latter stems from my life long obsession with human biology and overwhelming shame of my numeric dyslexia that prevented me from being a nurse or ambulance attendant.... i have a burning fascination with learning and sharing body physiology stuff with anyone who'll listen. this encourages hypochondriacs to flock to me... and while i enjoy that initial nurse Nightingale shtick, it does wear thin after a while.

so, with this heady mix of emotionally disturbed psychos who think they have cancer any time they get a cold i find myself getting overwhelmed at times. and by "at times" i mean once a quarter i get sucked into some nutbars life and the only one to blame is me for getting wrist deep into things.

the now Big Boss had evolved from a constant lunch date [which made me INSANE as i use lunch breaks to go for a walk] to someone who would drop by my place to lay on my couch and cycle through crying then anger then angry crying. what am i supposed to do? tip the futon over and put the boots to him for making me mental? probably not.

nothing to do but listen and try not to look too glazed over when he brought up the same problem again and again and again...........

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