blargh

can someone help me decide on what i want to be when i grow up?

my current choices are:
* amicable but firm-handed pot dealer
* lottery winner [even tho i never play the lottery EVER]
and
* grip for porn production company

i'm at a loss for any other careers that are out there i'd actually be interested in doing. the list above involves potential jail time, lack of wherewithal to purchase a lottery ticket and finally, i don't think they ever need grips on porn sets... just fluffers and ew, pass.

but i'd watch... so... wait...i don't think i can get paid watching beej's.

back to the drawing board. zzzzz....

"oh no, not santa's balls!" south park

we all suffer from certain little low-grade mental issues... mine happens to be anxiety about arriving late for things or being delayed en route and repetitive thoughts. now i'm sure i could be medicated up the twat for this, but i'm going to let it ride for a while longer. that's about as optimistic as i can get.

words that i repeat over and over in my mind when given the opportunity:
aujourdhui?
2 white pit bulls
de rien
dog dog dog dog.... [in the tune of "Charge" that they play at baseball games]
je pense que

why the fuck is it always french phrases? i even looked them up... yep, i even knew how to spell them correctly off the top of my head. this is horrifying since the ONLY reason i passed grade 9 french was because i was fucking the person beside me and she let me cheat off her homework/tests. what gives? there's probably more but they've been sufficiently muted from drinking all night.

evolution

from miserably depressed and sad to optimistically drunk. hzzah for the holidays and fluctuating moods when you're forced to leave your autistic standards of home and daily living.

what? i'm messed up i know. but i dunno... i'm stunned how sad i've been over the holidays. i haven't been like this in years, but hey, it's good to see that you can only come so far on your own before you just need to smarten up, have a drink and chill the fuck out instead of being bored and sober.