magic: the dorkening

2 posts in one night? must be visiting my folks for the weekend.

as seen by my last post, i have a burning hardon for comics. i was never into hobbits and sci fi fiction novels, but do enjoy cartoons, comics and movies that touch on the themes. i guess i gotta have my limits?

so there's a long history with me finding an interest in playing Magic: The Gathering. while i'm numeric dyslexic and the thought of adding or subtracting reverts me into a gap-mouthed toad, still, i thought this might be interesting. i've always liked the art work in the series, moreso in the past 5 years and even more once i was able to look at collections. maybe i could get into this? i like fanciful things that kill each other in savage pageantry! i like collecting things that are painful financial drains! i like games that require me to be sheep-dogged into chill spaces and only have a few people to hang out with!

my old half-roommate Daddy [names changed to protect the bears] came in from a weekend trip raving about playing Magic and spent a solid 20 minutes pitching the concept to me.
"but i hate numbers..."
"no! it's not that bad... and there's evil animal things... WITH SWORDS!!"
"SIGN ME THE FUCK UP!"
my only quid pro quo was a single dyke finger being raised and pointing at his handsome face, "oh i'll learn to play... but you can't out me to any of our friends that i'm going to play dragons and fairy farts with you or else i'll never play this with you. Capice?"
he agreed and we left it at we'll touch base and get this shit on the go eventually.
fast forward a month. Daddy and i were at some social event and we were picking on each other, as usual, and trying to outdo each other for the title of King Shit. He blurted out to a large pack of friends, "oh YEAH, well J wants to play MAGIC!!"
i was Magic outed.
i cant be clear, but i think the debacle unraveled into me screaming like a queeny wag trying to slap him and crying out, "you said you wouldn't tellllllllllll!!"

some hurts never heal and since that outburst, Daddy has faced me cornering him many times swishing wine around in a glass staring at him... and the inevitable, "remember when you blabbed about Magic...?!" all in good fun. kinda. no seriously, it's funny, but more hilarious to pout about it for attention.

still, what's the beef? i think about batman daily more than i do about kitties. that speaks volumes to gauge the dork ratio right there. i am a giant flake that enjoys being immersed into fanciful scenarios but it's super hard for me to find a board game that i will actively sit down and play. i'll watch all night as others play and have fun, just usually can't be focused enough to want to play it all night.

so, let's take stock: i like psychos in tights and capes, i like lapsing into a dream-like state of imagination and i like collecting things and yapping about it with other collectors.

i'm still not officially done with this Magic: The Gathering thesis, but i'll at least take it a couple of rounds.

laugh if you want, but rest assured there are like SO many other things i do/imbibe/think about are much worse than playing cards with dragons on them... so i guess, what's the hold up?