fuck i love drum and bass

does anyone still listen to drum and bass?? fuck i love it still... especially stuff that's like this. i can do a bit darker sounding, but this is what i like to have in the background when i'm surfing.

whiskers

"help... help me... don't just... help... ehn!" i tried to make a grab for the cat as he walked over me taking the time to jam a fat foot into my stomach.
"oh you son of a bitch. leave me here will you? BE THAT WAY! Come back."
Shir turned his attention to my snapping fingers, scanning for edibles and rebuffing me when clearly nothing was there.
lousy cat...

nataliedee.com tshirts... always

that reminds me, i should get my eyebrows done

there are few occasions where i'm able to drag Anthony down to my level of weekend entertainment. it was a large equation of him doing this, doing that, getting depressed, getting bored and then the words fall out before he can over-analyze it.

He was propped up on the couch getting nut cancer from his laptop resting on it all night. colour coded folders with white paper corners jutting out surrounded him. a splash of post-it note here and there topped off with a litre of water to drink from as he worked.
i came out of my room hoisting my belt on and shaking my head to loosen the water dripping from my hair.
"You look nice."
"Thanks!" I reached for my glass of wine that I left in the living room and sucked half of it back.
"Am i to assume you're going out tonight?"
I gasped for breath after chugging 4 mouthfulls down in one swoop. "Yeah! You, uh, you working hard?"
He looked down at the piles of numbers and pages and all that other bullshit that makes me nauseous to think about.
"yeah I fell behind on some stuff i should really work on it..."
I flipped forward and shimmied my fingers through my soaking mop of hair. "Oh you gotta stay on top of that stuff i know."
He peeked over the couch arm to look at the glint coming from my belt buckle.
"C'mere so i can see it. Marry... her... fuck... me. Real class, asshole."
"I live to please. You live to... work on deficit reports? Like you're living the highlife."
"Who's all coming out?"
"Does it matter at this point?"
"JUST! Just tell me."
"Dan's not if that's the deal breaker."
"Really?"
"No. He's picking me up. You looked incredibly hopeful for a minute there."
He slumped down and threw out his lower lip. I leaned over the couch and flipped my finger around it to make him snarl at me to quit it.
"Why don't you get some fucking clothes on and come out. Does hims want some drunky action with the ex? Does hims?"
"No! Of course not.... Why would i?"
"Who doesn't like to get fucked by what they know? No surprise body bits you're not ready for... no unfortunate hygiene habits... Just delicious groping of a familiar ass."
He huffed and pretended that he was going back to work. Be it the fan on the lap top or being lonely i could see him fuss. The cock knows what it longs for, even if you think you're over the gay phase. everyone likes to feel wanted and if that means parking a dick up an ass so be it.
i puttered around in front of the mirror in the living room pulling out rogue eye brow hairs and some subtle eye liner after I was done. I watched Anthony stare off into space, clearly torturing himself over the decision of going out or staying in with the cats.
"You have 23 minutes to get ready before I take off. GO!"
He snapped his laptop shut and bolted up with it under his arm. papers slid down onto the floor and a binder nearly clocked Shir on the head who was napping in confidential documents.
Even i was impressed how fast he took off, but not enough to question his motives. I slid some lip gloss on and narrowed my eyes. "too faggy? yes? no? mmm, but it tastes so nice... Really you're just dropping pills tonight so it's not going to be wiped off with drinks. So, this is an ideal time to put it on! yes, the gloss stays..."

"i got a hand, that means i got a fist"

the waitress laid the palm of her hand over my forehead. she looked tersely off to the side focusing on the exact heat of my head.
"You're a little warm... I guess that's good enough."
i had turned down my usual order of a 1/2 litre of wine and immediately she flew into a panic that i was terminally ill.
and if i died, no one would patiently sit through her many smoke breaks while waiting to get served... Nor would a customer be readily available with her favourite brand of cigarettes.

she trucked off to get my order which was non-alcoholic. she shot me a look before she filled up the glass, pinched hope in her face expecting me to back out of it at the last minute. i stared back and she shook her head.

The table was animated and kibbitzed between checking cells and smart phones... between bites of food and licking glass lips before the booze ran down. shifting tired asses on worn out chairs to lean to the side and roll back the strain of staring at a computer screen all day. I pulled a mouthful of ice tea down and sighed. the only one without a phone out i was an alien being of my usual self: Sober and unconnected. Normally it's the reverse, see?

Normally i'm a twitter thinking and hoping and ignoring reality but i felt knocked down... conversations wafted by me as i looked frozen in one look/thought. the special time of the day when i shoo away the dedicated fantasy of what i want and instead stack up the piles of what i got. this should be a time infused with booze but i was saving up for a new expensive distraction and wanted to try and be sensible. i could get drunk when i got home anyway.

fuck... why didn't i do this before??

damn it... i always forget that i can just do a screen shot instead of typing all this shit out.

fuckin' 'LUDES

oh man... i'm so sad that i'll never have a chance to take one of these!

makeup... again... as always

for the 3 people who read this blog, i guess it looks strange that i post these kinds of pics, but i loooooove slapping some crazy make up on and trying it out.

the dark lipstick is "make your own" with coloured pigments i have, but it doesn't go on even enough. no matter, i'll post them anyway.